BACK IN POLAND, A PLACE I ONCE CALLED HOME

Pope John Paul 2nd at Wadowice. Poland.

Boy meets girl, they fall in Love. They moved to Poland. They struggled.

Boy returned home, Girl stayed. He worked, less struggle, Love from afar. Money, Covid, Distance, Kept Love Apart.

In the End, Love fell Apart.

I was in Love once, she was the nourishment of my soul. We had many dreams. Her heart, where I built my home. I Loved her, but not the way she needed to. She Loved me, Just not the way I wanted. We are now strangers, but I held onto the Memories.

Her, teaching me how to pronounce her Native tongue. The etiquette of the Polish tradition. Learning Disco Polo so I could impress her father. Polish Cuisine, her Mom's pierogi was just Amazing.

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POLAND BIRTHDAY TRIP. A PLACE I ONCE CALLED HOME.

Through her, I fell in Love with Poland. Despite my shattered Soul, fragments laid buried in Polish soil. It had been years since I walked the cobbled stones of Warszawa, eating at the White Rabbit in Gdańsk, Tasting the Lips of a Beautiful Polish Soul. My heart yearn for the Polish soil.

Now I'm going back. Back to the country I once called home. But it's different this time. Though I'm grateful for the old memories, I'm making new ones. New Cities in sights, new Places to dine, Smiles from New friends of mine.

No Plan set in Stone, No Itinerary. Just passport, cash, card, my International License for renting a car. Enough Polish to find my way around, and the balls to do it on my own.

Sifting through my inner turmoil, checking out boxes.

Anxious? Check. Excited? Check. Joy? Check. Sadness? Unfortunately, yes. For the first time, the woman I once loved won't be there to greet me at the terminal. The Final acceptance of that final chapter.

Inside the St. Mary Church of Wadowice

If this article ever find you, I want to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we're now forever strangers. I'm sorry I couldn't thrive in Poland, I had to leave. I'm sorry I couldn't be there the way you'd want me to. I'm sorry for being frustrated, and blame you for my long absence.

I'm sorry for holding on something so important to you. That's the only thing of you I have to hold onto. But most importantly, I want to thank you.

Thank you for showing me your home, memories from when you were young. Thank you for the lesson. The joy, the tears, the Love, the fear.

Fear of Loving you the way you needed me to. Fear of losing myself within the vast depth of your soul. Fear of never being good enough. Tried to compensate with things you didn't really want.

Thanks to you, I'm in Love with the Slavic Culture. The Polish Tongue, Cuisine, and Tradition. The Story of your Grandparents during the war. The Horror they overcome, their courage through it all. The similarities between your culture and mine, and how we once intertwined.

To the woman I once loved… This is my farewell. I will never hope that I've never met you. Nor wish I never fell in Love with you. At some point in my Life, you were exactly what I needed.

I must continue on this journey alone. Walls higher; within this fortress, my fragile heart. Yet at the highest peak of my Tower, through an arrow slit; The Polish Eagle Made her Nest.

Jeszcze Polska Nie Zginęła