I'm Bringing Sexy Back To Poland

Black Man in Wadowice, Poland

Far from ugly, I thought to myself when I stared into the hotel mirror. I have a cute smile, nice eyes, and possess the charm and charisma of a British street vender with a silver tongue. You can say that I'm confident in my competence.

However, what separates my confidence from a few stones away from delusion is the truth. The Awful Truth is, I'm shaped like a Skinny Fat body Bitch, Upside-down bowling pin body Bitch, All you can Eat Buffet Body Bitch…

Alright, Alright! You've made your point! I get it, I'm out of Shape. Well then. It's about damn time to do something about my situation. I'm going to Europe for my 41st birthday. I'm Bringing Sexy Back To Poland. And I only have 45 days to do it.

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I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK TO POLAND 🇵🇱

A Man With A Plan

I had no intention of looking like the God of Thunder. My aim is to become active, muscle tone defined, improve my stamina, gain strength and actually be healthy instead of just looking the part. The plan was simple; Move More, Eat Healthy. So, I took inventory of the tools I had at my disposal.

I research the kind of food to eat, to have Pthe desirable result. To improve my eyesight and hearing, I need leafy Green, veggies and colorful fruits packed with vitamin A, C, and E.

I'd also need Omega 3 which are found in fatty fish such as Salmon, and tuna. Zinc, Protein and folate also help with the hearing.

Many of these foods also help with muscle building, with added high protein and healthy fat, and carbohydrates. For my digestive system, I needed high fiber, fermented food, and unsaturated fat like olive oil. Heck, I even research the kind of tea to drink.

Now, for my work out. I wanted to do it right. It's unlikely I'd find my gym available all over the US. Especially when I'm in the flyover states. However, my Planet Fitness app has work out videos you can follow along. Thus, that got rid of any excuses my brain would come up with to slack off.

The goal is to build a healthy habit of working out at least three times a week. To go for a walk or a jog at least 5 times a week, and prepare my own meals instead of eating out.

Yesterday was my first day of work out. And as the great Mike Tyson once said; “Everyone has a Plan until they get Punched in the Face.” As I am writing this, my legs feel like noodles that have spent too long in hot water. My arms and chest muscles ache. And I groaned every time I got in and out of the truck. I walk around like an inspiring artist who just came back from a Diddy Party…

Too soon? OK, I'll edit this one out.

However, Mama didn't raise No Bitch. Hard work and dedication gives great results. I can't wish a six pack and tight muscles my way out of this one. So, whenever I'm feeling despair, I think of all the cute Polish girls on rare occasions that slide their way into my DM. I can't be a tease with all those MAN TiTTIES. Therefore, in the Wise words of DeBo from Next Friday: “Quit Being a Bitch And Come On!”

Time to go for my walk.

Breaking The Habit

The first week went as it should be, sore muscles and rumbling tummies at night. I wish I could lie and say I was disciplined all throughout; But I'd be lying to myself. I sometimes ate later than I should.

My morning routine consisted of a 15 minute workout. Stretching, followed by squats, then push up and that thing you do in a sitting position pulling yourself up and down using arm strength. No, not pull up, Ha. I wish I was there yet. Then I would go for a 15 minute walk.

On the days when I'm not fully committed to strength work out, I'd go for an hour walk. Yet, aside from feeling more energetic, I couldn't really see a dent of differences. Must've been these protein shakes I've been having for breakfast.

Speaking of nutrition, that's one habit I'm proud of. I've made all of my dinner right here in the truck, thanks to my portable stove. The only time I bought food at a restaurant was when I ran out of eggs, and no groceries nearby. I had a meatball sandwich that night at Subway. I still have the leftover cookies.

As I write this update, I came from an hour walk, checking out the town scenery. My legs no longer felt like wet noodles, nor felt tired. It's fair to say that I'm slowly gaining my stamina. Since I prepped my marinated steak last night, it's time to get my meal done for the week. Let the adventure continue.

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EPIC COOKING FOR TRUCKERS

After a Month.

It has been thirty days since I made the conscious decision to work out. It had been a pain in the ass, especially on days I don't feel like working out. Although I slacked off sometimes, I'm glad to say that I stuck with it. There are days I only work out for five minutes instead of fifteen. But, just like brushing my teeth or scratching my balls, the habit sticks.

However I had my fair share of failures. I sometimes eat later than I should have. And I started to get comfortable… Too comfortable. Yet, I now have to face my biggest obstacle.

A couple days ago, someone crashed into my truck. I had to bring it in the shop and I'm now assigned to a temporary truck. Therefore I only took the bear essential, enough to last me until my truck is fixed.

However, I did grab my portable stove, a pot, the frying pan, and some provisions to last me a week. Overall, this temporary arrangement is already making life very inconvenient for me.

For instance, I left behind my seasoning which I had to eat my eggs without any salt. No sugar for my oat meal, and no mini blender for my smoothies. This is the time when my mind is turning into a Karen, giving me the perfect excuse to spend money eating out. Fuck that!

With 15 days left, I would be a proper twat to fail at my objective. It's time for me to crank up the work out, and be vigilant about my diet. Sweet Baby Jesus, don't fail me now.

Last Week Stretch

The week that I didn't have my truck was horrible. It threw me out in a loop. My momentum was broken. My workout was mediocre at best, non-existent at worst. I went from 50 to 60 push ups, 60 sit ups and 40 crunches a day, to barely doing 20 push ups every other day. Fortunately, I got my truck back.

With one week left to go before my flight to Poland, I need to make it count. I pressed on with my push ups, sit ups, and squats. And the Day Has Finally Came. November 9th, 2025, the day of my flight. And it Was…… Drum roll Please……..

MEDIOCRE. Not gonna Lie, I did not exceed my expectations. David Goggin would've been very disappointed.

On the other hand, Fuck David Goggin.

Sure, my muscles aren't as defined as the image I had in mind. But the end result was still very satisfactory. I have lost some of the fat, and gained muscle mass. But more importantly, I feel great.

No bloating, no upset stomach at night, a lot more energy. Bedroom activities got more exemplary. Not early 20s energy, but definitely my early 30s vibe.

The goal when I started this exercise was to prove to myself that a good diet and exercise would become part of my routine. So far, cooking for myself, and exercising doesn't feel like a chore, rather something I look forward to. A well defined six pack would've been a bonus. But I'm happy with the result nonetheless.

Fulfillment is the prize. Not running a daily marathon while being a miserable cunt like David Goggin over here. I was consistent, which makes me feel competent, in turn brings out my confidence.

As I'm chilling here at my Airbnb in Wadowice, I look in the mirror and tell myself; “ Oh Yeah! I'm definitely Bringing Sexy Back…”

I'm Your Host, ThatHaitian, Thanks for following me throughout this journey. So Share, Like, Comment, and Subscribe.

PEEEEAAAAACCCCCEEEEE